Come Home
by shibara1310
Summary: Did you know how I felt when you didn't say goodbye? Where were you when I needed you most? Cloud and Tifa


**AUTHOR'S ****NOTE: **Hello all! This, my friends, is my very first Fanfic of Cloud and Tifa! And a typical character pairing at that. I never have done a story where there were no made up characters or anything. So, I hope I do all right for my first one shot. This short story takes place in Tifa's point of view and should be kind of depressing…and sad, and all, but I hope that you'll be satisfied with it. Also, tell me how I did for my first one shot, canon pairing. Shout out to punkiemonkie! She is actually the one who inspired me to write this. With that said, I will move on and let the one shot take its place.

_Note:_ This is what I think would happen if Cloud did not forgive himself. So, this might be a little angst.

_Note II:_ I editted it because I had Marlene and Denzel's eyes the wrong color.

_**Disclaimer:**__ Shibara1310 does not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the characters, or the plot. If she did, Zack would still be alive as well as Aeris and would have married and have two kids named George and Bob. Thank you._

* * *

_Come Home_

He was late once again. How many times would it make this month? Ah yes, I think the fourth time and already only a week of the new season had passed. He was generally home late, past midnight in fact. Even though it was only ten o'clock, I could feel it. He was going to be late. He always spent time at her church. I wish that…he could move on from that pain. That pain that still existed in all of us. That pain that Aeris' death brought us. It wasn't his fault…why did he blame himself for it? I know he still does, even though he told me he knew he was forgiven. I know he was forgiven by all of us, by me, by the children…but there was still one person who has not forgiven him. Cloud himself.

It was three months since the Reunion. That moment I saw the burst of flames engulfing him and the Remnants of Sephiroth, I was scared. I was scared that Cloud would not come back. I would not see his face again. I would not hear his quiet, kind voice every passing day again. Never again. I was afraid that I would be alone, even with my children. Marlene and Denzel were not my _children_, technically speaking, but I had adopted the sandy brown haired boy. Marlene was Barrett's adopted daughter, but she still felt like my daughter. I was their mother. What was a family without a father? None, but a broken family.

But then, _she _told us to wait for him at the church. Everyone came to _her_ church. Then he came back. Aeris brought him back. I always wondered why she brought him back. Everyone dies someday. Maybe it wasn't his time to go yet. I was happy. Overjoyed that he sent me a small, comforting smile, I beamed back at him, watching the children splash around in the pool of pure water in the old, stone cathedral. We all stood there watching Cloud happy for the first time in a long time, standing there with my son. Barrett, Cid, Nanaki, Yuffie, Vincent, Marlene and Cait Sith watched with a pleasant countenance as we knew that all of our troubles were over.

But, they weren't, were they?

Breathing ever so softly in the harsh silence, I gingerly picked up a glass beer mug that a customer had overly used one too many times that afternoon. With the wet, grey rag in my other hand, I scrubbed the inside of the mug as I washed it under running steaming water from the tarnished faucet of the cluttered sink. There were too many customers that day for my taste. I could not blame them, though; it was the weekend, Saturday, to be more precise. The next day I would take my day off as Cloud would leave for the day, but not for his delivery business, but for his own time and pleasure. I didn't know where he went on Sundays, but I could guess: Aeris' church.

I would not close the bar until the clock on the opposite wall from me said ten thirty. But since every drinker in the town of Edge was already at home, suffering from an approaching hangover, or sleeping away, with not a trouble in their lives. How nice it must be for them; being one of the members of the group that practically saved the world was not particularly easy. Luckily, the One Winged Angel was gone. For good, I did not really know. As long as everything was fine now, I was at ease. _If _everything was fine…Cloud's attitude worried me. He was becoming more distant from the children, becoming less of a much needed father. He used to talk to me about how his day went, but not anymore. He used to spend Sundays helping me clean the bar, but not anymore. Why was he like this?

Simpering at the squeaky clean glass cup, I turned it upside down and set it by its brim on a spread out towel on the countertop. Shivering slightly, I glanced at the door that was in the darkness at the other side of the room. A single lamp hung from the ceiling above the bar and white, soft light pooled the counter, and it was just enough light for me to see what I was doing, like cleaning dishes. But that wasn't what I was doing now. Now I was leaning against the counter, with my chin resting in my hand with my elbow propped against the smooth, black surface. He wasn't going to come, I know. I could feel it.

Once again, I was left alone. When would I have Cloud back? When would I have my friend back? Yes, my friend. My friend who had promised me to help me whenever I was in trouble. Only a friend…Though, I had deeper feelings for him. They were unspoken, and unnecessary. Everything was all right the way it is, if only he could come home. Seeing his face liven up was enough for me to be content. I wanted him to be like how I knew him. I wanted everything to be back to normal. I wanted him…Shaking these, what I call, 'useless' thoughts away, I picked up two dried glasses and swiftly whirled around on my heel, making my way to the wooden cabinet so that I could put the dishes where they usually resided in.

With my patience thinning out, I hastily glared at the clock on the wall with piercing ruby eyes. Ten sixteen, it said to me with not a word needing to be spoken. How I hated waiting for Cloud. Yet, I did not hate it at the same time. If only he knew how I felt, maybe we could be a family again. I wish that he would listen to me, talk to me, be there for me…Right at that moment, he was probably standing in the cold depths of the night on the barely rotting floorboards of the church, staring into the small pool of crystal clear water with white and yellow glowing lily petals floating peacefully along its rippled surface. He was thinking of _her_. His friend who he felt it was his fault, died. Her death was tragic, but it was the past. She was at ease now in the Lifestream along with Zack, an ex SOLDIER whom Cloud had met at the ShinRa Company. So, if she was happy, why wasn't he? Why did Cloud still have guilt tugging at his heart? Even though I knew Cloud very well, ever since we were kids, I still did not know the answer to that question that kept nagging me.

"Tifa?" a quiet, female voice that was filled with youth asked in the stillness of the room, breaking the silence like shattered glass. Abruptly, I stirred from my deep thoughts and darted my eyes toward the small, thin eight year old standing at the doorway of the staircase off to the left of the bar. Her frame was covered with a pink night gown and her bare feet were pale against the dark hardwood of the floor. Sighing, I went over to where Marlene stood and crouched down in front of her, sweeping her loose, chestnut hair from her small face.

"What is it, sweetie? Shouldn't you be asleep?" I chided with a quirk of a sweet smile, hiding my true emotions behind a mask that anyone would be deceived to believe. I have grown used to it in the past years of my life.

"I can't. I'm worried about Cloud! When is he coming home?" Marlene balled her hands into tiny fists at each side of her and exclaimed her last statement. Blinking in confusion of her attitude towards me, I cocked an eyebrow and tilted my head to the side.

"I don't know…He will be here tonight, though, but you will be asleep by then. I'll tell him to stop by your room and kiss you good night," I tried to comfort her, but apparently I made no prevail.

"But I want him to tuck me in, and I want to talk to him! He _never_ talks to us anymore…" she stubbornly pouted and shifted her gaze downwards. Realization crept through me. So now it was affecting the children? This had to stop…Cloud was slowly falling far from us, his family. Marlene needed a father while Barrett was away for business. If not Cloud, there was no one. He was the children's guide, their friend. He was my friend. Our friend, whom we loved and wanted back. A grim frown was on my face now, letting Marlene see that I knew that she was right.

"You know it's true, Tifa! I thought everything was back to normal now," Marlene stared into my eyes with her bright brown, pleading orbs as she gripped onto my upper right arm. Gently, I placed my left hand over both of hers, taking them up as I slowly stood up.

"Let's put you to bed…" I mumbled as I began proceeding up the stairs with the sad girl following by my side.

Walking past the pictures of our past that were hanging up on the wall of the staircase, I avoided drawing my eyes towards them. I could not bear to see Cloud's figure in the photos. It became more painful each day. And here, these children had to experience the emptiness too. Indeed, it was sad…But I guess everyone goes through hard times sometime in their life. We have to be grateful for what we had. I still had Denzel and Marlene here with me. However, I needed his presence for me to be truly happy. Why was he doing this to us? Didn't he see?

As I opened the door that was off to the right of the top of the stairs, the first thing I noticed was Denzel's sleeping form under the red and white plaid covers of his bed. Leading Marlene towards her bed, which was close by to Denzel's, I helped her get under the blankets and tucked her in, kissing her forehead and bidding a good night. Turning towards my adopted son, I planted a soft kiss against his feathery hair as he continued to sleep.

"Good night, you two," I whispered quietly as I went to the door. But something made me stop in my tracks. There, on the wall just besides the door, was a picture of Cloud. Not a photograph, no, but a colored picture that Marlene and Denzel both worked on one day. They were so proud of it, presenting it to Cloud as a sign of appreciation. Cloud had barely smiled at them, hugging them both in an embrace. That was when we were all happy. Though he had sadness in his eyes, but he paid the children attention that they needed. How would they act if he was gone for good? I shook my head as I gently grazed my finger along the wrinkled paper, taking in the sweet memory of good times. Denzel looked up to Cloud as a role model. Did Cloud know this? Maybe I was thinking too much on the subject…Brushing past the doorframe, I shut the door behind me and made my way downstairs to enter the front room once again.

As I reached the counter to wipe it with a rag and shut off the light for the night, I halted. A dark shadow at the entrance of the bar disrupted me from my intended actions and made me lose my focus with what I had to do. Swiping my shoulder length black hair from my vision, I stared into the blackness. Damn, I wish I wasn't so easily frightened at night when I was alone…There was one time, right after the Reunion was defeated, I had a clumsy thief break into the bar while I was cleaning up after a long day. If only Cloud had not entered right at that moment, who knows what would have happened? _You see, Cloud, we need you more than you think_.

"Who is it?" I asked bluntly, crossing my arms across my chest and raising a suspicious eyebrow. My gloves were tucked safely away in my dresser drawer for I did not feel like I needed to defend myself. Though, I quickly grew restless as the figure made its way towards the source of light. As the stranger came in sight, I caught my breath. It was only ten thirty-five, and he was already home?

"Cloud? You're here so early, are you okay?" I questioned him with kindness as I waited listlessly for a response. None came. Cloud stood there, silent. His blonde hair was clearly visible, even in the dim light. How those spikes stuck up without any hair styling products, I'd never know. With his dark, very original clothes, he could easily hide in the shadows without anyone noticing his presence. His presence was what brought me delightful joy. At least I see him every day. Well, almost every day. The greatest fear I had was him leaving again. Him leaving me the last time was enough to make me doubt him. I never doubt him. Never. But that time, I did.

"Cloud?" I asked again; worry etching across my subtle features.

"I'm fine. I'm going to bed," he announced shyly as he quickly maneuvered past me and towards the stairs to make way to his room, to close the door to shut out the world, to shut out me… Wincing at that thought of me faltering from doing anything, I made up my mind. I followed him. I was not going to let him slip away without me confronting him about this problem. We needed to talk. It's been too long, and he needed to forgive himself. Why didn't he? Helplessness swelled up in my soul as I paced after my friend, panting as I hurried up the stairs and at his doorway, but wasn't able to make it through, for Cloud had shut the door in my face. The sound of wood against wood slamming in full force was loud and screamed in my ears for I was so close to being the victim of a door hitting my face. Pushing aside my anger, I gently knocked at the door, waiting for him to answer. Again, none came.

"Cloud, can I speak with you?" I knocked the door again, silently praying that he would do what I wanted; talk to me. A long awkward moment passed by as I hesitated, about to turn away from the door and give up, thinking that he would be asleep already. But again, my thoughts were interrupted as I noticed the door slowly opening, but only to an inch so that Cloud was staring at me through the crack in between the door and the doorway.

"Mmm?" He barely grunted, quietly, though, so that I could almost let the noise go unnoticed. I had better hearing, though. Simpering back at him, I was pondering over if I should ask if I could come into his room so that we could talk, but thought twice about it. It was uncalled for, and I could just have a conversation like this. However, it seemed strange for I was not looking directly at him. Building up my courage, I made my moment.

"Do you remember that time…when you told me that you would come to help me?" I inquired with a bright, friendly smile playing across my lips, letting it be known to him that it was a rather nice memory. His confusion was the only response. Obviously, he must have forgotten…again.

"You said to me that you would come to save me whenever I needed help," I made my point across clearly. Surely he would understand…

"I remember. What about it?" Almost the first sentence he spoke to me this whole day. Happy that he answered, I nodded. But now I let a solemn expression cover my face, my ruby eyes had a hint of begging in them as I stared at him and he stared at me. Cloud shifted uncomfortably as he let the door open a little bit more.

"I need help, Cloud. We all need you back with us," I let the words out unexpectedly. Uttermost surprise was his look. Questionably, he just glanced back at me with a blank set face. I did not speak again, though, wanting him to answer this statement. I was not going to let him get away with it this time.

"I can't." Brokenness would describe how I felt as I gazed at him with bleary eyes. That was not what I wanted to hear, but it was the only answer he could provide. Why couldn't he? Why?

"I don't deserve you…the children," he just added the last comment at the end of his sentence, leaving it cold as he quickly shifted his eyes to the floor, not wanting to meet my gaze. Does he see me cry? Does he even know? Desperately, I gulped and stuttered a bit, but recovered.

"We want you to be here, Cloud. Why aren't you here?" Nothing. Not even a sigh. Feeling a tear at my heart and burning at the back of my eyes, my mirror to my soul, I let out a slow exhale, making myself turn away. As I did, Cloud closed the door. So that was it, wasn't it? He didn't know what we wanted, I suppose.

"Come home," I said, barely above a whisper as I continued down the stairs.

§

Something was wrong. Something seemed out of place. As I turned on the light of the front room in my freshly changed clothes and my hair tied back in a ponytail, I yawned with exhaustion. Cloud was gone for the day, as usual, probably at Aeris' church again. That morning, however, felt different from the rest. The awkward silence that crept though out the room was chilling to the bone. Swallowing thickly, I briskly paced to the sink of the bar and snatched up a rag before soaking it with hot water and then squeezing the excess liquid from it as I twisted it harshly. Scrubbing the counter, I sighed. It was early yet, only eight o'clock, but already the children were up. I could hear them yelling over who was going to take a shower first. But I did not interfere, knowing that they could handle it themselves. Usually, I would take my role as a mother and tell them how the shower order would go that morning, usually Marlene first. Not today. I felt out of sorts, not myself.

There was something different about that morning that was bothering me. Something was wrong. I would normally be okay with being alone in the bar with Marlene and Denzel playing outside in the streets, but not that day. I felt like something was going to happen, like something was horribly wrong. Why I felt this, I did not know, I just did. Sadness and desperation crept through my veins. I missed him already. I wanted him to be there with me. I wanted him to love me, the same way I adored him. I wanted to spend every day in happiness that he would bring me. I wanted to spend the late hours of the night just talking about silly things.

"Tifa, we're going outside to play!" Denzel exclaimed as he dashed by the counter with Marlene following on his heels, surprising me and making me jump. Smiling to myself, I shook my head. The children were apparently really energetic that day. Watching them go through the screen door and entering the street, I quietly lamented on how lonely I was. Sunlight poured into the front room, casting light across the tables and chairs, creating shadows of weird shapes. Even though it was a bright day, my mood was stormy and grey.

Forcing myself to stay busy and not to think about Cloud, I moved across the room and picked up the chairs, setting them on top of the tables so that I could mop the hardwood floor. I tried to mop every week, though sometimes I would be too preoccupied with paying bills and tending to the children's meals. Remembering that Denzel and Marlene had not eaten yet, I went back to the kitchen, taking out a small pan to scramble some eggs that I got out from the refrigerator. Cloud liked scrambled eggs…Did Cloud eat that morning? I hoped he did, or else he would be starving by lunch time. I always worried about him eating. He had not been eating that well for the past months. I still did not know why he would not be part of our family. He said he would, but he wasn't. Why wasn't he the father that he should be? Denzel needed a father…I needed Cloud. Huffing stubbornly, I finished cooking the children's breakfast and scooped the eggs onto three separate plates. I would eat with them so that they had a parent with them to talk to. As long as I was here, they could trust me to be their mother and be responsible.

Simpering at myself, I placed my hands on my hips and casually strolled by the door, opening it and peering out into the blinding sunlight. In the street, Denzel, Marlene and a few other children that were infected with Geostigma not too long ago, but now cured, were playing with a brown ball and kicking it around. It looked as if they were trying to play kick ball or something, with Denzel in the lead. Smirking at the sight of joy on their faces, I watched for a few more minutes, enjoying the sight of innocent children that had no troubles play as if the world would end tomorrow. It brought back good memories…

"Denzel! Marlene, breakfast time!" I called out rather loudly, but kindly. After hearing my voice over the excited yells of children, Marlene shot her head up and ran across the street towards me, ready for a meal, obviously. But Denzel was still fooling around, showing off to a girl with a Moogle doll in her hand. Rolling my eyes, I tried calling out again.

"Denzel, breakfast, now!" I yelled with my hands cupped around my mouth so that my voice could be heard easier. Suddenly, he heard me. Glancing up at me, he smiled, rolling his eyes in fake sarcasm. Turning to the girl, he said something before handing her the kick ball. Meaningfully, I watched as he began to run towards Seventh Heaven, ready to eat scrambled eggs and toast. I would have turned around, satisfied that he was coming, but I was concerned about something that would affect my life forever. A truck was driving down the same street at the same time Denzel was making his way across. I don't know if the driver was drunk, or if he did not see my little boy, all I knew was that the next sound I heard was the screeching of rubber tires against pavement and body, and the screaming of the rest of the children.

"_No!_" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran over to Denzel's form lying on the street.

§

_"Cloud?"I asked, gazing up at him under the starry sky, looking at him as if he was my hero. He was my hero. _

_"Yeah?"_

_"Let's make a promise."_

_"Okay, what?"_

_"Say you become famous in SOLDIER. Whenever I'm in trouble…you come save me, okay?"_

§

_"Tifa…Tifa!" Cloud's pleading voice sounded distant as he cradled me in his strong, comforting arms. How I wanted to lie there and listen to his voice. But I had to let him know that I was alright. I winced painfully; the electric shock waves that had surged through my chest were hurting me greatly. _

_"You're late," I mumbled, keeping my eyes closed._

§

_Staring at him as he slept, I wondered how it would be if I was his. He was so peaceful and at ease as he slept, deep in a slumber where he forgot the wickedness of the world. Carefully, I leaned forward slightly as I kneeled by his bed on my knees._

_"Cloud, do you love me?" I love you._

§

Grasping onto his small, mangled body, I let my tears fall as I stared into Denzel's bruised face. I cradled him in my arms very gently, rocking him back and forth, helping him go through the pain. There was no hope that he would survive the fatal injuries that had destroyed his spinal cord. As I placed my hand on his back and held him close, I felt the warm, sticky blood cover my hand. I could feel the blood gushing from his wounds and I shut my eyes tightly, praying that it was all a dream. Opening my eyes, I smoothed out Denzel's hair with my free hand, hearing his labored breathing quickening, and at the same time, his pulse was slowing down. A tear slid down my cheek and onto my son's hair, but I did not care. Pulling him back, I lay him in my lap and stared into his dull, crystal blue eyes. They were glazing over as he gazed back at me, feeling the pain of death approaching.

Haziness filled my vision as I knew I was crying, knowing that he was slipping away. Marlene and the rest of the children as well as a few adults were crowding around me as I remained sitting on the pavement, holding a dying boy.

"Denzel, it's all right, honey, I'm here," I murmured as I leaned my cheek against his forehead. There was no warmth left in him as I heard him choke on his last breath and close his eyes.

_Cloud, come home to us._

But that night, he did not come home. He left without saying goodbye. He was gone when I needed him most.

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**(A/N): **Wow, I didn't think this would turn out like this…I'm not good at sad stories, so tell me how I did. I'm going to do another one shot that's happy, so that's good…right? Tell me what you think. I hope you liked it. Until next time, 

-Shibara

P.S. I don't think this could really happen, just _if_ Cloud didn't forgive himself. Also, I got the idea of Denzel's death because him and Marlene were not in DoC, so yeah...it could work, but I really adore Denzel and it was kind of hard for me to write that part.


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